Thursday, May 3, 2012
Facebook kinda freaks me out.
Being a transgender person I have always been private. I have had to be in order to protect myself. I like to keep my personal life personal, and the beauty of this blog is that it is completely anonymous. It may come to no surprise that giantCplus is not my real name. But facebook is the exact opposite of that. You share what you are doing with all your friends to keep them informed. When, like me, you keep most of that secret and hidden from the world out of fear that they may find out you are different; it’s kinda hard.
So after several years of constant badgering from family, friends, and co-workers I decided to join facebook. Then I had a slight break down where I could not deal with people and just wanted to hide. When I got home from work, I did hide for about 8 hours or so. Every time I get an e-mail my cell phone chimes and in the past 24 hours after signing up for face book I got maybe around 50 e-mails from facebook of friend requests and acceptance of friend requests. With each e-mail my heart would race and I would break into a cold sweet. I have never felt so exposed.
I think I am over it now and as time passes I will warm up to facebook more. I know to some this may seem crazy, but for some one like me who is not use to sharing stuff about myself to people who know who I am is kind of difficult.