Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Fathers Day

No matter how strongly we may feel on the inside, it will never change the fact that we are and will always be fathers to our children. That is a divinely appointed and scared position given to us from a kind and merciful Heavenly Father.

L. Tom Perry, Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave an inspiring insight into the Father’s Roles in the home from his April 2004 conference address, “Fatherhood, an Eternal Calling”
Given such urgent warnings about the future of our Father in Heaven’s children, fathers and mothers must search their souls to be certain they are following the Lord’s direction in building up eternal families. Focusing on fathers, what does the Lord expect us to do?
Once a family has been established, the father’s roles include the following:
1. The father is the head in his family.
“Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of [divine] appointment.”
Your leadership in the home must include leading in family worship.
“You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening; and as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life.
“You give father’s blessings. You take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline. As a leader in your home you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”
As President Joseph F. Smith counselled: “Brethren, there is too little religious devotion, love, and fear of God, in the home; too much worldliness, selfishness, indifference, and lack of reverence in the family, or it never would exist so abundantly on the outside. Then, the home is what needs reforming. Try today, and tomorrow, to make a change in your home.”
Remember, brethren, that in your role as leader in the family, your wife is your companion. As President Gordon B. Hinckley has taught: “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are coequals.” Since the beginning, God has instructed mankind that marriage should unite husband and wife together in unity. Therefore, there is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are united together in word, in deed, and in action as they lead, guide, and direct their family unit. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward.
2. The father is a teacher.
President Joseph F. Smith’s counsel applies today: “Do not let your children out to specialists … , but teach them by your own precept and example, by your own fireside. Be a specialist yourself in the truth.”
“When you recognize the importance of teaching your children, you become humble, because at once you realize that this is accomplished by precept and example. You cannot be one thing and effectively teach another. You must live and study and pray for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. You must purify and organize your life so that your example and leadership reflect the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
“You must plan your day as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, earnestly seeking your own welfare and the welfare of your family before other cares blind you to these first responsibilities. As we have been taught by living prophets, ‘No other success in life can compensate for failure in the home’ (David O. McKay, in Conference Report, Apr. 1964, 5; quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42).”
3. The father is the temporal provider.
President Ezra Taft Benson expressed it clearly: “The Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home. … Sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even insistence, of her husband … [for the] convenience[s] that the extra income can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered.”
Fathers, by divine decree, you are to preside over your family units. This is a sobering responsibility and the most important one you will ever assume, for it is an eternal responsibility. You place the family in its proper priority. It’s the part of your life that will endure beyond the grave. I testify that the following statement is true:
“The position which men occupy in the family, and especially those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood, is one of first importance and should be clearly recognized and maintained in the order and with the authority which God conferred upon man in placing him at the head of his household.
“… There is no higher authority in matters relating to the family organization, and especially when that organization is presided over by one holding the higher priesthood, than that of the father. … The patriarchal order is of divine origin and will continue throughout time and eternity. There is then a particular reason why men, women, and children should understand this order and this authority in the households of the people of God, and seek to make it what God intended it to be, a qualification and preparation for the highest exaltation of His children. In the home the presiding authority is always vested in the father, and in all home affairs and family matters there is no other authority paramount.”

I have become so focused lately on Anima the woman inside; I started to loose sight of the rolls I have to play here in mortality. Today in sacrament meeting I was inspired by some of the talks given about fatherhood and the important roll we have in the lives of our families.

Let us not loose sight of where we stand.


  1. C, inspired use of a great talk and thank you for your personal insight. I would have transitioned long ago if it were only me I suppose, but I remain where I am because as you say, where I stand.

    I just sat down to write my own Fathers Day post but yours is so much more noble I will defer to you with an appreciative nod.

    I once heard it taught in a sacrament meeting that the responsibility to preside means we are responsible to make things happen and we are responsible for what happens, there is no pretense of authority, just a responsibility to bless our family. I like that.

    I do not know what the next life will bring, but I know we will be blessed if we fulfill our divinely mandated and I say gifted role of father, if we have been blessed with children.

    Watching my daughter-in-law bare us a new grandson last week, I spent much of the week thinking about the great blessing it is for women to be mothers and to nurture and raise children, but these are meant to be shared roles too. I find fulfilling my role as a father to teach and lead a very satisfying role even to my feminine self.

    I could chose to dwell on the fact that I don't have a functioning womb in this life, but what a tragedy if I missed giving love and nurture to each of my children and grandchildren while we are right here associated together!

    Thanks again for raising our view, your friend, Laurie.

    1. Thank you Laurie,
      You have managed to sum up the rest of the emotions I wanted to add but could not find words to express them.

  2. I too keenly feel the importance of being a good Dad to my kids. Thanks for the reminder that it's never as simple as just what WE want as individuals, but what's best for our families as a whole. It's hard to find a balance sometimes, but our loved ones deserve it.

    1. I am glad I was able to help. I know I needed the reminder just as much as anyone else.