Sunday, March 25, 2012

The Olive Tree

 In this Blog I would like to attempt to educate people on being transgender, and persuade them to come unto Christ. I want to educate those in the LDS Church about Transgender people and dispel the myths and stigmatism that environ us. I want them to know that we are just as deserving of the blessings of Christ as anyone else, and we are not sinners for feeling this way. This is simply a trial given to us by our Heavenly Father to test our worthiness just like anyone else. I also want to reach out and touch those suffering with this disorder as I have and show them that there is acceptance and understanding within the church. I do not want someone to suffer needlessly and all alone as I have in a self imposed prison simply because I did not know. I would like to see more resources within the church designed to reach out to those who suffer with this disorder. I think this EFY song “The Olive Tree” embodies how I feel and my desire to help.

Now to understand my desire to help, you need to understand where I come from. By nature I thought I was a sinner. These feelings I had, at the time I didn’t know what it was, I thought where of the devil. I hade this overwhelming desire to serve God and faith in him, but innately I was evil. Ever since I have been a very small child I have wanted to be a girl and being so confused about who I am. Why would God do this to me? So I thought Satin knew something about me that I did not, and used it to make me feel this way and there was nothing I could do about it. By nature I was a sinner.
Over a year ago during one of the darkest times in my life, my faith was at its lowest, and my wife was in the process of moving out with our only child. I did not know what to call what I had, and all that I did know was I hated myself for feeling this way. I wanted to die! My life was spiralling out of control, so I decided to put a face to my disorder. I started looking for what caused this and in the process I found the term Gender Identity disorder, or GID. I was all alone, and out of complete desperation, I googled; “GID and the LDS church”. I found a discussion on dealing with GID. I found a blog named “Sweet Is the Peace” of an LDS man with amazing faith dealing with GID. And I found a discussion group on the North Star website. I read amazing stories about people suffering just as I have, and finding peace. I wanted that. I did a lot of soul searching and came to a great realisation. This is for my benefit and eternal progression.


  1. I used to be so confused by my gender identity. I thought it was evil too, but I was confused because I felt that way since I could remember and the gospel teaches that Satan has no power over little children, and if what I was going through was evil then how come I was an exception? How come Satan was aloud to mess with my mind as a child?

    After many years of putting my trust in God and him patiently teaching my stubborn soul I've come to the same conclusion that you have, that being transgender (or having GID--I don't really like that term though for some reason I can't expain--maybe because it focuses on it as a problem) is not evil.

    I have a few thoughts though that differ from yours slightly. I wouldn't say that God gave us this because he wants to test our worthiness. I think that a lot of us believe that the point of this life is to test our worthiness (and yeah, it's not an inaccurate statement by any means) but I like to think of life not as a test of worthiness but as a test to show God what we really want.

    I think God is a good counselor, and I've been to my share of counselors. Really bad counselors seem to have a plan for what you should do in life all set out for you and they try to push you into following that plan. God isn't like that. God is like a good counselor, and a good counselor figures out what you want in life and they help you consider possible flaws in your plan when necessary and guide you to achieve your righteous goals.

    I believe that we were all worthy when we came down to earth--We lived in the presence of God and no unclean thing can dwell with him--None of us that made it to this earth in mortality had worthiness issues. We were not born into being transgender because we were less worthy by any means, but because like you said this was the trial suited for us. We all have different things to struggle with in life and this is what God planned for us so that we could learn the lessons we have to learn, so that God could see if we really wanted what he really wants to give us.

    Also, I don't believe that God micromanages the universe--there are scientific (logically explainable) reasons for everything that happens to us. Some of us are trans because of chemical imbalances that took place in the womb because of various pollutants, prenatal stress, and drugs--not because God waved a magic wand and made us this way. Some of us have GID because we have been abused (and yes I do believe this should be consider a disorder in this case). Some of us struggle with our gender identity because the nature of our character is simply more feminine/masculine than what is socially acceptable and it would seem easier to be ourselves if we lived life as the opposite sex. There are a lot of other real reasons for why we struggle with gender identity and God is not the direct cause of any of them--just as He is not the cause of someone's death when they get shot in an armed robbery.

    Having said all that, God knew exactly what is going to happen in our lives and he has factored all of the natural consequences into his plan for us--his plan that he had for us before our birth and in that sense I believe that he has tailored each of our lives to fit our circumstances because he chose where and when we were going to come into this world.

    I just thank God that I was born into the world at this time--in a world where people are learning to be understanding and compassionate toward those who have differences.

    Keep up the great posts--I really liked this one; it got me thinking. I hope you don't think I'm arguing against anything you said--I agree with it all, I'm just adding my own thoughts to it.

    Anyway, I believe you are going to help a lot of people by letting your voice and your story be heard. It's always an empowering feeling to see that we are not alone in this.

    Thank you.

  2. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "I don't believe that God micromanages the universe--there are scientific (logically explainable) reasons for everything that happens to us." We live in an imperfect world under imperfect circumstances. God is in control, and we just have to have faith in his juegment.